The first time

Aha! I have an idea what you’re thinking now, but hold on we’ll get there. Let’s start by considering  more frustrating first times.

Before doing so, let’s remind ourselves that “...the biggest risk is not taking a risk” as Eddie Jones, successful 2016 coach for the England rugby team remarked in May after winning the Six Nations Cup on a Grand Slam triumph. This was even before a white-wash three-test series win against Australia in Australia during June. Two more things Eddie said which is worth reflecting on: “The hardest thing to change is mindset. Changing that to a growth mindset, where players are happy to be challenged and try new things.”

Let’s start at the beginning. My first memories are of riding my half-size bicycle in our garden and the dirt road. In primary school I progressed to a proper bicycle, but not always to good effect as I can recall riding into a parked car in the main road! The point is, once you can ride a bicycle you will always be able to ride a bicycle. As important, if you’re not paying attention you are going to get hurt.

There is always a learning curve in whatever new things you tackle. Have the courage to start and ask someone you trust to help you along the way. This was the case recently with me starting on a makeover for FMS and for myself. For FMS Juliette was my go-to-girl who set up both the FMS Wine Marketing Facebook www.facebook.com/fmswinemarketing and the Pinterest pages www.za.pinterest.com/fmswinemarketing Absolutely painless! And at such speed I am forever impressed and grateful. 

The next step was Instagram, but that required me upgrading to a G4 mobile. Being choosy, I wanted a black handset and not the common white so it meant that Juliette was already back in France by the time I got my new mobile. As things go there is sometimes a second chance. Flying up to Johannesburg to visit family and clients I am proud to say that I installed Instagram www.instagram.com/fmswinemarketing on my own during my first Uber trip. But that is another story. Being new to this it took me three tries, 60 plus anxious minutes, with a surcharge increasing from 1 to 1.4 and then to 1.9 before I could manage to make contact with an Uber driver 4 minutes away.

For me the biggest issue on a webpage is which button to press. No actually it is, “Where is this damn button?!” It seems to come in every shape, colour and with the most indistinct text imaginable. Don’t these guys know that if they make that button BIG and BOLD then it will make life so much easier for people like me?  I still had to ask Rensia, my niece, to upload the first two Instagram pictures. Now it’s a piece of cake.

Back to second chances. On a personal level it usually takes me several tries to get to that first time. Mostly when I am with a beautiful girl it feels like my mouth and body are frozen exactly when I need to act. Instinctively I know what to do, what to say, but I just freeze and stare, watching this incredible girl stepping away from me, losing an opportunity to get closer to her disappear in the swirls of my imagination. To give you an idea, recently it took as much as three huge attempts to hug this girl whom I absolutely adore. Magic! 

Relax and don’t fret what happens next. Pay attention when she says “Be careful.” in an intimate moment between you two. This can just be the direction you needed. Use your imagination and go with the flow...

With a girl there are important levels of first times. The first time you kiss her, when you hold hands, cuddle her, and get to make out with her.  All of these pleasures are exciting, most memorable and most wonderful – to be repeated in a hundred different ways once you get past that first hurdle successfully. But that is perhaps the wrong word. It only works if both of you enjoy it and want to do it again. Then you are building a proper relationship, the stuff dreams are made of and destinies are built on.

First times are worth celebrating for a good reason. Don’t you as a guy ever forget that first time where you two met, when you two got up close and personal ending very sweaty, satisfied and fulfilled; because your girl will always relish this. Those great memories are the glue that holds you two together, the fire that forges your souls to aspire to something more, building your love that inspires both of you to more tenderness, empathy and unconditional love for each other.

Reference: SA Rugby, May 2016 Issue 222
Photo credits: Anton Blignault

© Anton Blignault, Cape Town