What is the question? Indeed. With such an attitude
you should sail through every encounter, even against the wind. Yet, why don’t
you? Why don’t I?
Taken the fact that words only
account for ±7%
of total face to face communication, you need to look at what makes up the
majority: body language at ±55% and tone at ±38%. Even
in telephonic communication words only constitute ±14% of understanding, while
tone at ±86% plays the crucial part.
But that’s not all. You not only need
to say “Yes” but be pretty quick about it – like 5 to 10 seconds max. James
1:5-7 puts it well. When saying “Yes” it could also be something like “Hello” –
anything to stay the course, keep the momentum going. As important is showing
your connection physically: a handshake, a touch, a hug. Despite trying, I fall
short most of the time on both these actions.
As you’ve seen above, saying “Yes” is
really only a small part of getting your message across. Your body language and
voice tone give your real intention and state of mind away, no matter what you
say. “Your actions speak so
loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
These are the real clues to
what someone means, but the most difficult to read - certainly for me. And the
next part is to be sufficiently sure about these non-verbal clues so as to act
on it - in the moment. To complicate things even more, men and women are from
different planets, so to speak. All the above is true whether you’re in a
personal relationship, or interacting at work.
 |
| Noëlline BRIENS at Arra Vineyards & Pulpit Rock Winery |
Spending six months with two
girls in the office I certainly learnt a lot, but nowhere did I come close to
getting it right all the time. Elvis Blue sings: “Sometimes we have to start again... Hey! Have you ever lost your way?...
The sun will shine again.” I must say, with wine tasting being part of your
job description it smooth most things out. Add to that cellar tours, winelands
trips, roadside picnics and you’re on the right track. Don’t get ahead of
yourself though, just relax and go with the flow.
The next is as important.
Admit your mistakes – quickly. Apologise sincerely and set things right. Move
on from there, forget and bury whatever caused the disharmony. Go forth, dance, sing songs of praise and do
acts of love. Be more daring, act on your intuition and welcome surprises. Be
less scared, have less regrets and bury the guilt. In short: You have a life. Live it!
So what are you and I supposed
to do? Breathe deeply, exhale; and then focus on what’s happening right now in
front of you. “Be present. It’s the only
moment that matters.” Only then can you say “Yes” with conviction - whatever the question - and be ready to act
on it immediately.
But without empathy you’re not
going to get anywhere. This means: forget yourself, your own ego, put yourself
in the other person’s shoes – your spouse, lover, child, sister, brother;
client, boss, colleague. Reflect on what this interaction, date, task, project,
means to them – why do they do what they do - because it is as valid as your
reason. There are no right or wrong answers, only different points of view.
Understand theirs, accept it and embrace it. Ruth 1:16-17 puts this more
eloquently.
 |
| Victoria RÉMY & Noëlline BRIENS in the Winelands plus Absolute Style Wines |
Final advice: Start where you
are. Use what you have. Do what you can. Don’t ever give up hope. Aim to win. Do
all this boldly and with absolute enthusiasm! Bonne chance !
On a personal level, I agree with
Coco Chanel: “A girl should be two
things: classy and fabulous.” / «
Une fille devrait être deux choses: chic et fabuleuse. »
_________________________________________________________________________
Photo credits:-
1.
Arra Vineyards
plus Mullineux & Leeu Family Wines triplet; Champagne DEVAUX, Kanonkop Estate –
Anton BLIGNAULT
Absolute Style Wines – Victoria RÉMY
2. Arra
Vineyards wine tasting room & Pulpit Rock Winery barrel cellar: - Anton
BLIGNAULT & Pulpit Rock Winery
References:-
Coco CHANEL
Elvis Blue, “Shine” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iw5-hRZIoN0&t=213
JF Hillebrand SA
John Gray, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”
McNabs
Noëlline BRIENS, FMS
Pierre-Samuel
REYNE, Champagne DEVAUX
Romain LESAGE, FMS
The Holy Bible: KJV Ruth 1:16-17 & James 1:5-7
Victoria RÉMY, FMS
© 2017 Anton BLIGNAULT, Cape
Town South Africa
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