The answer is “Yes!”

What is the question? Indeed. With such an attitude you should sail through every encounter, even against the wind. Yet, why don’t you? Why don’t I?

Taken the fact that words only account for ±7% of total face to face communication, you need to look at what makes up the majority: body language at ±55% and tone at ±38%. Even in telephonic communication words only constitute ±14% of understanding, while tone at ±86% plays the crucial part.

But that’s not all. You not only need to say “Yes” but be pretty quick about it – like 5 to 10 seconds max. James 1:5-7 puts it well. When saying “Yes” it could also be something like “Hello” – anything to stay the course, keep the momentum going. As important is showing your connection physically: a handshake, a touch, a hug. Despite trying, I fall short most of the time on both these actions.

As you’ve seen above, saying “Yes” is really only a small part of getting your message across. Your body language and voice tone give your real intention and state of mind away, no matter what you say. “Your actions speak so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

These are the real clues to what someone means, but the most difficult to read - certainly for me. And the next part is to be sufficiently sure about these non-verbal clues so as to act on it - in the moment. To complicate things even more, men and women are from different planets, so to speak. All the above is true whether you’re in a personal relationship, or interacting at work.

Noëlline BRIENS at Arra Vineyards & Pulpit Rock Winery

Spending six months with two girls in the office I certainly learnt a lot, but nowhere did I come close to getting it right all the time. Elvis Blue sings: “Sometimes we have to start again... Hey! Have you ever lost your way?... The sun will shine again.” I must say, with wine tasting being part of your job description it smooth most things out. Add to that cellar tours, winelands trips, roadside picnics and you’re on the right track. Don’t get ahead of yourself though, just relax and go with the flow.

The next is as important. Admit your mistakes – quickly. Apologise sincerely and set things right. Move on from there, forget and bury whatever caused the disharmony.  Go forth, dance, sing songs of praise and do acts of love. Be more daring, act on your intuition and welcome surprises. Be less scared, have less regrets and bury the guilt. In short: You have a life. Live it!

So what are you and I supposed to do? Breathe deeply, exhale; and then focus on what’s happening right now in front of you. “Be present. It’s the only moment that matters.” Only then can you say “Yes” with conviction - whatever the question - and be ready to act on it immediately.

But without empathy you’re not going to get anywhere. This means: forget yourself, your own ego, put yourself in the other person’s shoes – your spouse, lover, child, sister, brother; client, boss, colleague. Reflect on what this interaction, date, task, project, means to them – why do they do what they do - because it is as valid as your reason. There are no right or wrong answers, only different points of view. Understand theirs, accept it and embrace it. Ruth 1:16-17 puts this more eloquently.

Victoria RÉMY & Noëlline BRIENS  in the Winelands plus Absolute Style Wines

Final advice: Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. Don’t ever give up hope. Aim to win. Do all this boldly and with absolute enthusiasm! Bonne chance !

On a personal level, I agree with Coco Chanel: “A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.” / « Une fille devrait être deux choses: chic et fabuleuse. »

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Photo credits:-

1.       Arra Vineyards plus Mullineux & Leeu Family Wines triplet; Champagne DEVAUX, Kanonkop Estate – Anton BLIGNAULT

          Absolute Style Wines – Victoria RÉMY

2.       Arra Vineyards wine tasting room & Pulpit Rock Winery barrel cellar: - Anton BLIGNAULT & Pulpit Rock Winery

References:-

Coco  CHANEL

Elvis Blue, “Shine” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iw5-hRZIoN0&t=213

JF Hillebrand SA

John Gray, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”

McNabs

Noëlline BRIENS, FMS

Pierre-Samuel REYNE, Champagne DEVAUX

Romain LESAGE, FMS

The Holy Bible: KJV Ruth 1:16-17 & James 1:5-7

Victoria RÉMY, FMS

© 2017 Anton BLIGNAULT, Cape Town South Africa

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Race against time

Any race normally spells pressure, compromises, tension, but above all complete focus on the task at hand. This all goes with the territory and when you’re on a tight wine tasting schedule with clients that flies in and out on the same day, you had better have your act together.

Actually it started four days earlier when the visit was confirmed. I felt up to the challenge as I’ve twice before arranged similar visits for a client from Shanghai with one even set up on a Sunday to visit five cellars the next day.

The day starts at two o’clock the morning when the rain wakes me. Dressed in my best and with my Navy rain coat I don’t feel the 14°Celsius outside. It’s perfect weather for tasting red wines, our mission for the day. Meeting Austin and Gwen 15 minutes after arriving, we move out in pelting rain, arriving at Cavalli 30 minutes behind schedule - miss-timing on my part. On top of that I lose the sole of my brand new leather shoe before we even step into this very classy complex.

arra barrel maturation cellar

Next stop is Arra and now we are 50 minutes late while I lose my second sole when stepping out into the mud. The smartly packaged cheese and mini-compotes help still the hunger of our guests. By the time we reach Slent the car looks like we’re doing the Dakar rally. Taking off our shoes the wooden floor is warm underneath, with a fire and several heaters creating comfort.  My first words to Michela are “We’ve only got 45 minutes.” Despite tasting through five wines and having lots of laughs about the antics of the baboons in the vineyards we move out on time, but not before Attilio gives me a bunch of his prized artichokes, freshly harvested.

artichokes & moon cookies

When we stop at Mont Rochelle for lunch with Dustin we’re only 15 minutes late. This is crucial as he has an executive meeting at three. So skipping everything we settle down at the table in front of a cosy fire, with rain coming down hard on the roof. At ten to three Dustin tells me "No, it's been cancelled." A really great atmosphere and finally we have time to relax. All of us are hungry and when Austin sees the braised brisket he mentions “We got up at four and this looks good.” It was!  

Mont Rochelle cellar

Our last stop is De Zoete Inval in Paarl which I only set up the night before. On the farm I stop next to a roofless house on a muddy dirt road and call Robert “Where’s your house?” “Turn back, it’s the big one that you passed first.” Immediately when he sees the state of my shoes he says, “Take them off, I’ll fix it just now.”  When a guy takes a big Leatherman out of his pocket you know he can fix anything. So while I present the Kudu biltong and dry wors that Robert puts in front of me, he gets to work on my shoes.

De Zoete Inval vines

Having clawed back to our original time schedule, the biggest challenge is yet to come – getting our guests onto the plane on time. Gwen is somewhat anxious, but we’ve been travelling against the traffic all day and I’m confident. There is still a small hurdle, the samples are packed, but the cartons need to be sealed and labelled. This happens at the airport after a super-fast journey on the N1. Seven minutes before the boarding gate opens they pass through security and my job is done.

Back home I don’t sit down else I’ll fall asleep. Almost in automatic mode I shower and jump into bed. This total focus on the job does come at a price though. Gwen tried her best to take photos while I was driving, but here I should have stopped.  En route from Franschhoek to Paarl we see the most amazing waterfall – it must’ve been 100m high with another one of 20m a little above that. Two long, thin white streams of water glistening white against the green mountain. A minute later we see the most incredible rainbow on the right, a widespread band of lights shimmering in the late afternoon sun against the mountain.

Photo credits:

Arra barrel maturation cellar, Gwen Huang

Artichokes & moon cookies, Anton Blignault

Mont Rochelle cellar, Gwen Huang

De Zoete Inval vines, Gwen Huang

© Anton Blignault, Cape Town