How to find yourself a wife

Recently I came upon notes on how to find yourself a wife. Still being single I tend to look at most opportunities. Nowadays it is not frowned upon to search on internet sites for a wife, even if you have to import her. Most know about speed dating. This takes guts as it is an eye-to-eye encounter with someone totally unknown to you, like cold calling. A very thrilling experience I imagine - like an adrenaline rush.

The article I read refers to ancient times when life was quite different, very different in fact. Since then customs and laws have changed, and so have women. I’m not too sure how far men have evolved… Don’t try any of these; this is not advice for the wise, nor meant for today’s jungle.

* Walk around and you will find one; even if you’ve got a history. - Cain in Genesis 4:16-17
This is probably where most of us are today. Walking, running, pub-crawling, clubbing, hoping… Hi!

* Agree to work seven years in exchange for a wife. Then work another seven when you get done in... - Jacob in Genesis 29:15-30
Although Jacob was cheated, he actually married Rachel seven days after Leah. So perhaps it wasn’t such a bad deal…

* Find a man with seven daughters and impress the father by helping them doing their job. - Moses in Exodus 2:16-21

Be kind to women and you will be rewarded. It always works.

* Find a beautiful prisoner of war. Take her home. Get her to do a makeover, give her new clothes, then she is yours. – Deuteronomy 21:10 -13
Isn’t this what many wars are about – women?

* Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow as your wife. – 

Onan, Shelah and Judah in Genesis 38:6-30

It’s an amazing family saga of trickery and deceit.

Deuteronomy 25:5
This was the custom, no questions asked.

Orpah and Ruth in Ruth 1: 10-13

Here the law could not be fulfilled. Quite a lucky break for Ruth, or shall we rather say it was destiny?

* Get yourself given a wife out of pity. - Benjaminites in Judges 21:13-15.

You poor guy, all alone in the world. There are many that fall into this category.

* Go to a party and hide. When the girls start to dance, grab one and carry her off to become your wife. - Benjaminites in Judges 21:19-23.
Sounds like a weird party trick, but this game was for real.

* Buy property and get a wife as part of the deal. - Boaz in Ruth 4:1-11
This was more about Ruth than the farm. A lovely, industrious woman and a clever stepmother.

* Forget about being choosy. Replace quality with quantity. – King Solomon in I Kings 11:1-3
Sounds like every man’s dream, but then could you handle 700 wives and 300 sub-wives? I don’t think so.

* If you are the king or local dictator, proclaim a beauty competition with the winner becoming your wife. – King Ahasuerus / Xerxes in Esther 2:3 - 4 

But even then women employed stealth. Esther changed her name and refused to say where she came from.

Now when you’ve finally got the bride of your dreams, however you caught her, better be sure to treat her to a proper wedding feast. And don’t forget the wine, not just any wine, only the best will do. Take the wine enjoyed all those years ago in Cana as a guide. (St. John 2:1-10 ) Aah! What would winemakers today give for that recipe, or critics for a sip?

Oh, and after the honeymoon, no actually before, it would be a great idea to read The Song of Solomon. This is mostly written from the point of view of a woman, so it’s very good advice for a life filled with pleasure. Finally, be sure to remember the sage advice from Proverbs 31 throughout this whole search.

 Acknowledgements:-

Gerhard Griesel: www.skoongrappies.com &

 www.jokes.christiansunite.com

You can’t really pursue happiness # 3

When you’re happy, you’re dreaming, laughing and living joyful moments one by one.

"I belong a hundred miles from anyone, dreaming of my past along the shore. It took a while to realise the burning side of life alone and life to come from now.
All my instincts tell me that I need to know, what it's like tumbling down. Pretty minds and pretty thoughts control my life, and getting old is something we all know..."

 “To be happy you must forget yourself. Learn benevolence; it is the only cure of a morbid temper.” Edward George Bulwer-Lytton

“Happiness is a by-product of an effort to make someone else happy.” Greta Palmer

“What people require for a good life – and many smart people have written books on this subject – are meaning and purpose. I personally have never met a self-centred person who was happy or content. The happy people I know are serving something greater than themselves – a cause, a religion or a family.” Charley Reese

"We are never really happy until we try to brighten the lives of others." Helen Keller

Bottom line – make someone else happy.

“Don't aim at success - the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one's dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long run - in the long run, I say! - success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think of it.” Viktor Frankl

Don’t worry about getting rich. You will by focusing only on what your instincts tell you to do. 

“To enjoy life, you don't need fancy nonsense, but you do need to control your time and realize that most things just aren't as serious as you make them out to be.” Timothy Ferriss

Laugh often - at yourself and with others.

“I have an ideal life. I get to do what I want to do every day. And money can't buy any more than that.” Warren Buffett

Isn’t absolute freedom of choice the ultimate?

“Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of travelling.” Margaret Lee Runbeck

“Happiness has more to do with where you're heading than where you are.” Scott Adams

One step at a time does it every time.

“Happy people learn that happiness, like sweat, is a by-product of activity. You can only achieve happiness if you are too busy living your life to notice whether you are happy or not.” Frank Pittman

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.” Thomas Merton

Being active and working towards a goal gets you there every time.

“The secret of happiness is in knowing this: that we live by the law of expenditure. We find greatest joy, not in getting, but in expressing what we are. There are tides in the ocean of life, and what comes in depends on what goes out. The currents flow inward only where there is an outlet. Nature does not give to those who will not spend; her gifts are loaned to those who will use them. Empty your lungs and breathe. Run, climb, work, and laugh; the more you give out, the more you shall receive. Be exhausted, and you shall be fed. Men do not really live for honours or for pay; their gladness is not in the taking and holding, but in the doing, the striving, the building, the living. It is a higher joy to teach than to be taught. It is good to get justice, but better to do it; fun to have things, but more to make them. The happy man is he who lives the life of love, not for the honours it may bring, but for the life itself.” Raymond Baughan

Action always counts louder than words. Use it or loose it.

Now go off and forget about yourself, about being happy, and just live within the moment.

Acknowledgements:-

“Close my Eyes” by Watershed

Fear vs Love

Now what place has fear in the month of love, you ask? Exactly nothing - yet everything - since they are opposites.

“Love, love changes everything
Hands and faces, earth and sky
Love, love changes everything
How you live and how you die

Love can make the summer fly
Or a night seem like a lifetime”

“Hate is not the first enemy of love. Fear is. It destroys your ability to trust.” Anonymous
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” 1 John 4: 18 NKJV

Breathe deeply, exhale. Now do that thing!

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.” Mark Twain

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela

Tread softly, but walk.

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” Jack Canfield

“Fear less, hope more. Whine less, breathe more. Talk less, say more. Hate less, love more. And all good things are yours.” Swedish proverb

Want it enough.

“Thinking will not overcome fear, but action will.” W. Clement Stone

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. Go out and get busy.” Dr. Dale Carnegie

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 NKJV

Get up and get going.

“F-E-A-R has two meanings:

1.       Forget Everything And Run OR

2.       Face Everything And Rise” Anonymous

“Fear is not real. It is a product of thoughts you create. Do not misunderstand me. Danger is very real. But fear is a choice.” Will Smith

Choices… Make them.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”  Eleanor Roosevelt

Go through it, not around it.

“Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 NKJV

Help is at hand. Ask...

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 KJV

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” Marianne Wilson & Nelson Mandela

Indeed you are. Believe.

Now go forth and love your beloved… 
Allez maintenant et aimez votre bien-aimé…

Acknowledgements:

“Love Changes Everything” Michael Ball

The Bible, New King James Version® 1982

The Bible, King James Version® 1957

You can’t really pursue happiness # 2

With the New Year comes new hope and inspiration. Make the best of it. While it may sound trite, take these words to heart:

“Here's a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry, be happy
In every life we have some trouble
When you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy”

“Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.” Dr. Dale Carnegie

This does not suggest that you merely go with the flow. It tells you to accept that which is given to you - with graciousness.

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” Dalai Lama Tenzin Gyatso

“Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.” Helen Keller

Inflating your self-worth will only isolate you from everyone. Discover your purpose, your calling in life, and pursue that. Getting lost in a cause bigger than yourself will fulfil you no end.

“Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.” Franklin Delano Roosevelt

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you'll be a success.” Dr. Albert Schweitzer

“We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about.” Charles Kingsley

Many people preach prosperity. So do I, and there is nothing wrong with that. It definitely makes the wheels turn smoother, but that famous saying “You can’t buy happiness.” Or is it love? It's true in both instances. Do something you enjoy. Period.

“Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values. No one's happiness but my own is in my power to achieve or to destroy.” Ayn Rand

You are not responsible, ever, for someone else’s happiness, love or salvation. Restore yourself first and be content to lead by example.

“He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.” James Oppenheim

Happiness, like love, like charity – all these start at home.

“Your success and your happiness start with you.” Zig Ziglar

“How you feed your mind is every bit as critical to your happiness as how you feed your body.” Jeff Olson

If you don’t take charge of your inner thoughts, someone else will. All you need to do is to set and visualize the end goal; the rest will fall into place.

“There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.” Freya Stark

No-one likes a two-face. Neither would you be able to live comfortably with being one yourself.

“Happiness is the natural experience of winning your own self-respect as well as the respect of others.” Denis Waitley

You can only give what you have. Most treasured things are earned.

“All who would win joy must share it; happiness was born a twin.” Lord Byron

Once you have achieved anything significant, you will find that you automatically want to share this joy you feel within.

Think about this: happiness is mostly outer-directed during a specific occasion, while joy is inner directed lasting a lifetime. What are your thoughts?

Acknowledgements:-

“Don’t Worry Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin

“Le Fabuleux Destin d’Amélie Poulain”, Audrey TAUTOU & Mathieu KASSOVITZ

You can’t really pursue happiness # 1

Same as you can’t really pursue love - for the simple reason that it normally finds you when you’re doing other stuff. Importantly, you must be open to find it, know its voice, and be prepared to stop whatever you’re so busy with and digress to follow it.  Then in a heartbeat your eyes will brighten up and you’ll sing along to:

“You can reach me by caravan

Across the desert like a Arab man

I don’t care how you get here

Just get here if you can.”

What has all this got to do with wine you ask? Well, in my mind good wine starts before you actually pour it. First you get into a relaxed vibe and chill. You, whites and reds too. Assemble great company and scrumptious food. Then let the conversation flow. In doing so comes wonderfully romantic moments, and momentous philosophical thoughts. But at least fill up your glass before we tackle these serious issues.

“I’d much rather eat pasta and drink wine than be a size zero.” Sofia Loren

This is the basis of my wine philosophy. Follow your intuition. Enjoy life!

“Those who are not looking for happiness are the most likely to find it, because those who are searching forget that the surest way to be happy is to seek happiness for others.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Encourage someone else in following their dream, supporting them all the way. Congratulate them when they’ve achieved their goal, spreading their good news story for their benefit.

“I don’t know what your future has in store, but what I do know is that you will only be really happy if you have sought and found how to serve.” Dr. Albert Schweitzer

When you lose yourself in helping others, you will be amazed at the joy and warmth you feel inside you.

“Happiness consists of living each day as if it were the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your vacation.” Leo Tolstoy

Carpe Diem! Home is always there, yet you are here, now. Make the time to give her an extra long hug, whispering into her ear, “I love you”.

“Rules for happiness: something to do, someone to love, something to hope for.” Immanuel Kant

No man is an island. We are created for a purpose and formed as social beings, living constantly in the hope to be found worthy.

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” Helen Keller

It used to take me forever to close a door, but lately I’ve become very attentive and now even see a door open on the side at ever such a slight crack, just before the main door in front of me shuts with a clang.

“My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.” Michael J. Fox

Accept yourself as you are, accept those around you, including the so-called bad news just delivered, and move on. Rest assured that new opportunities and some wonderful lessons will come from this.

“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.” Dr. Dale Carnegie

Be happy inside your own skin. Truly love and admire yourself. You are special and you are loved by the Creator.

“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Giving of yourself is really what counts – your time, your memories, your expertise, and your take on living in peace and harmony.  Share these authentically and in humbleness.

“Faith makes you happy.” Dr. Henry Cloud

Isaiah 52: 7 says, “How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!"”

“Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.” Dr. Albert Schweitzer

Whatever harsh circumstances prevailed, it is always the love, the laughter, and the fun that is remembered.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole road, just take the first step.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Take heart even in doing what you fear. It will soon pass once you act. Not only that, but having shown the courage to make that phone call, write that note, confront someone, you will be absolutely thrilled with pride, flowing over into a deep inner peace.

So there you have it, some thoughts over a glass or two of excellent wine. But don’t let me stop you in your pursuit, or not…

Acknowledgements:-

“You can reach me” by Anita Baker

Giulio Bertrand, Morgenster Estate – Sofia Loren quote

“Wat gelukkige mense weet…” Dr. Jannie le Roux ©2014 Carpe Diem Media – other quotes

Creating a legacy

How do you go about creating a legacy? Something substantial that will outlast your lifetime? You can write that book, star in a movie, sing on stage, become a sports star… While there are a myriad ways with each person having his own views according to their God-given talents, one surefire way could be to create your own successful private brand.

But similar to each of those other fields, this road also has no guarantee of success when you start out. In fact, as all successful entrepreneurs will testify to, creating a new brand is filled with trials and tribulations along every step of the way. Meaning that getting over the first hurdle does not automatically get you to the finish line. And this is actually only the gateway to get your product into the market and onto the shelves.

So why bother? Well, ask anyone who has ever achieved any degree of success. Or rather, look at the enthusiasm and confidence that emanates from them. Then most likely you’ll want something of the same. But first of all you’ll need a great desire to achieve despite all the odds stacked against you. And achieving does not always have to be about you. What about the guy who goes full out to give back from all the blessings that he’s received in life?

Just be very sure that in all instances it is incredible hard work to reach that pinnacle and you’ll need a good team to support you along the way. See building a brand as a lifelong journey – separate from yours and with a life of its own, sometimes actually much more exciting. So take time to acknowledge and celebrate each milestone achieved. Then before you know it, that little brand has grown and stands proudly on its own feet on the world stage. This is of course time to have a great party. But also the time when you should recognize in gratitude all those around you and contemplate whereto from here? Am I there yet? Is my job done yet? Where to next?

FMS has been fortunate to be part of several teams this year that created some very innovative wine brands. Each has its own distinct character, target market, purpose and vision. Let’s salute those brave men who dared to step out of their comfort zones, and in creating something unique took the bold steps to each give birth to a new international brand.

The Full Fifteen Africans Malbec 2013 – Denmark 

www.skovgaardvine.dk/the-full-fifteen-africans-malbec-2013

Africa Promise Chardonnay Sauvignon Blanc 2015 &

Africa Promise Cabernet Sauvignon Merlot 2015 - USA & SA www.AfricaPromiseWines.com

Jacques du Mont Vinho Espumante Premium  - Bolivia, Brazil & Angola

With the wines now all dressed up and some already in the market, the next step for these brand owners and FMS as facilitator is to grow these wine brands into a legacy, introducing it into new countries with careful planning.

Photo credits: 

Incisioni Grafica Pubblicita & Jacques Germanier - Africa Promise Cabernet Sauvignon Merlot 2015

Peter Rimell Photography – The Full Fifteen Africans 

La vie est belle, n'est-ce pas? # 2

Make someone feel special, today. This should be your personal goal every morning, even before getting out of bed. And what’s the bottom-line return for you? It could be a wonderful warm feeling when experiencing their heartfelt thanks; even if it’s just a smile, a nod of acknowledgement, or a salute. That’s enough to fill up my emotional tank. And it need not be from someone close to you. It feels as great when dishing goodness out to random strangers.

Moreover, once you realise that the world doesn’t revolve around you, but most things depend on teamwork, you’ve come a long way. And a team can be just two of you. What a blissful feeling when you’ve achieved or experienced something special together. You’re sharing these moments that bond you together. Cherish it.

As you know, despite the most well laid out plans, life happens. It’s then that your character comes to the fore, when you act almost instinctively. Let this be to your credit. The saying, “May you live in interesting times” can be taken as a blessing or as a curse. It’s exactly these unexpected deviations that make the world’s difference, even if you don’t think it is so profound at the time.

Mostly such magic occurs on the spur of the moment. Like when I push Sophie to write a letter to a company in Paris, saying that she’s been in South Africa, done the research, and am ready to launch.

A ½ hour later her screen is still blank and she tells me. “I can’t get started. I don’t know what to write.” So I come and sit next to her saying, “Right, let’s do this thing.” An hour later she says, “Good, let’s send it.” “No, not yet, let’s read through it again.” We both make many small changes and it’s high-fives when she presses the send key.

It can also take patience and persistence to get things rolling smoothly. A client from China is supposed to visit the Cape in June. This gets postponed to July, then to August, and finally it becomes a planning nightmare as the visit rolls over from week to week, and later from day to day. To my surprise, Kuban calls me one mid-morning saying “Henry is here, we’ll see you in an hour.”

Busy with other stuff, I’m in a flat spin. We talk about everything except the business at hand. Despite Henry not drinking alcohol, he is a great collector and the two of us spend an exciting hour unearthing vintages from 1999 onward from every nook and cranny. Settling down afterwards with a drink, we finally get onto the topic of visiting the wineries...

Mariella's Restaurant

Henry and I spend two cloudy but stimulating days in the Winelands. The first day is in the Swartland with vistas of green and gold from fields of wheat, lucerne and canola. It includes a lovely lunch at Mariella’s, followed by a cellar tour filled with the biggest collection of French casks in the Southern hemisphere.

Capaia cellar

When Henry sees a handful of Capaia 2007 Jéroboam gift boxes, he promptly buys one, ending the day on a perfect note.

The next day we’re on a tight schedule starting in Stellenbosch and moving over to Paarl. Thanks to Henry’s Porche we comfortably keep to the programme and even have time to admire the exquisite artworks at Cavalli, and the numerous cheeses at Fairview, before stopping for another great lunch at Sonop.

Here another surprise awaits. It’s like déjà vu with a difference. Switching to French, M. Jacques Germanier and I catch up on a rendez-vous d’affaires of some years before. In turn, Henry is very impressed with the Swiss precision put in place since 1991. A few things definitely get lost in the translation, but fortunately Sophie Germanier, in charge at Sonop, comes discreetly to my aid.

Jacques Germanier wine range

It’s close to five on a Friday, and no self-respecting winery’s management is still open for business, but our mission is not yet complete. Coaxing a late meeting out of Michela, she tells me, “Ok, but the order has to be big! ;-)” When we arrive there’s no-one to be seen, but the table is filled with wine glasses and a framed certificate. Looking around, Henry points to the kitchen. Michela comes out bright-eyed and all smiles, inviting us in. Attilio and the kids follow.  Excitedly, Michela explains the reason for the certificate and trophy on the table.

Attilio & Michela with Absa Top 10
Ayama Pinotage 2013

After a photo or two Michela wants to start the tasting but Henry says, “No, just give me samples, that’s enough. I will pay.” Michela retorts with, “With pleasure, but you can’t pay for it. It’s samples.” 

And a short while later we’re on our way home. Heading due West, I think...

Photo credits:-

Anton Blignault – Attilio  & Michela with ABSA Top 10 Pinotage Trophy & Certificate

Capaia Wines - Mariella's Restaurant & wine cellar

Jacques Germanier - wine range